MF: this is very nice, creative use of repeating animation footage. The main thing I would work on is at the area where you start using intertitles to note the passage of time (months later, days later, etc.). I think it would be good to SHOW this passage of time in some way, using words to sum the passage of time works some time, but in the context of this work it feels like you're rushing a bit in the telling of the story, and that you could show some scenes that illustrate time passing (say by seasonal shift or growing a beard or something that takes time). Also, I would use the revision phase to see if you could add some additional details in the animation. I feel like I completely saw everything in the first viewing, and in repeated viewings there aren't really any new things I would notice, so you could use the revision phase to add some layers of small details and things that might be missed in a first viewing (stuff happening in the background, or changes of ties or shoes, just small details that change or are introduced throughout, that might add interest in further viewings, seeing things one missed the first time). Well done!
This is Bebe's Page and it is created for IAT 313 :)
Please click link below to see my Project 1 - Colored.
Here are some Screen shoots
AL: Why was he fired? I expected some kind of event to bring this on. All you ever showed was how hard he worked.
AL: I found the flashing dog a bit strange, It seemed like you were hitting the viewer over the head just a bit to hard, Something more subtle, such as the fading away of the dog might be more apporpriate.
AL: I wanted to see the couple actual connect. At his point they I get the sense that I am supposed to expect these people to fall in love. But they could just as easily get into a fight over who gets the dog. Show them meeting, show them in love. It will bring greater resolution to the story.
My project is a Flash Animation based narritive story, and it is inspried by my puppy, coco.
Hope you enjoy it :P